cloudwatcher

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Location: Kentucky

Sunday, April 05, 2009

A Well Hidden Self Destruct Button

Sometimes I wonder why I keep on going, somewhat optimistically, basically happy, even through the really tough times. I think my self destruct button must be deeply buried beneath layers of flowers and art and song and wonder. Either that or I simply didn't come equipped with one.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

How I Briefly Mistook Fighter Jets for a Pair of Ducks

I just got home from a car trip to the nearest city to buy art supplies. While driving home I heard the roar of a jet just above my car. I wondered why one would be so low and loud so far from the airport, a little strange. It sounded to be right above the car so I looked out the windows. Seeing nothing, I waited a few seconds thinking it was really right above me and out of my line of sight. Scanning the sky again I saw a pair of ducks flying off in the distance heading towards the river... but whoa, those aren't ducks. It's two fighter jets and the loud roar was coming from them, it's a frightening sound, hugely powerful, dark and intense. A lightening fast chain of thoughts flew through my mind, what are they doing, why are they flying here, they represent nothing but death and destruction to me, then thoughts of one of my favorite students who joined the air force to be a navigator and wondering how he lives with himself knowing what his missions really mean or is this particular road to personal insanity completely blocked from the conscious mind of the troops; all the while following the flight of those "ducks" as they quickly disappear into the distance. At some point I'd turned up Santana to drown out the sickening roar.
Each moment we traverse a giant web of fleeting interactions, maybe more like fleeting glimpses I guess, as we all journey on our intersecting paths. How vastly different, yet frighteningly close my path can come that of pure evil.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Bizarre Behavior of my Anti-Evil Eye Thingies

I just got a new-used car and I'm actually one for having a variety of amulets hanging around the interior of the car. I have a Nuristani livestock amulet hanging from the mirror, an antique St. Christopher visor medal, one of my own single decade rosaries made from skull beads and an antique crucifix and a few others. All these came out of my old car so in this car I also hung two old, tribally used Kuchi pendants with blue centers, one deep blue glass, the other lapis (the blue round centers that resemble a blue eye are the anti-evil eye part) and jingling dangles. They hang from the front window visors. Belly dancers love these pendants as they make lovely tinkling music as you move. Get the picture now of the interior of my car?
So, I was driving today from Kentucky to Ohio, a three hour trip, heading basically the same direction the entire time, in the same weather system the entire time and only when I turned a corner or hit a big bump did my pendants jangle. I had the windows about an inch down on both sides the entire trip, never changed that at all.
Now here comes the bizarre part, as I drive along I came to a spot with a huge new high school on the east side of the road and back in the fields on the west side of the road was a major prison complex. I'm always surprised how the new schools so resemble the new prisons, they just don't have the razor wire. I am thinking along these lines, comparing the two and it took a second or two to realize that my passenger side (high school side) pendant was just going crazy, spinning a bit, jangling like crazy, frantically making all the noise it could. I swear to you that it was silent the whole trip (except on sharp turns or hitting a bump and then it just gently tinkles in a pretty way), both before and after this specific area. I made sure to keep the windows open just the same amount the whole way home after this to see if it would happen again and it didn't, nothing, nothing at all. I was really stunned when I realized what was going on, I would say someone else was a bit crazy if they told me this, they were imagining things, they were just plain nuts. But something odd was definitely going on, some huge psychic pain between the two places was being picked up by my pendants. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't believe it either. If you want my official credentials, I'm a college degreed double science major (botany and geology) and x-math teacher. But the longer I live, the more I am certain that modern science hasn't begun to scratch the surface of how the universe works. And why the heck do I have anti-evil eye amulets in my car you might ask? Well, it certainly can't hurt and now I guess I will pay a little closer attention to what they are doing!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A V-less Goose, a Plaintive Valentine's Day Story

Every morning I walk my dog, keeping an eye on the sky, the clouds, the rising sun, birds flying over. This morning there was a lone goose circling above our neighborhood and the fields behind. Flapping wings frantically, calling continuously, circling and circling. This was not the strong yet graceful flight of a goose traveling with its wedge-mates, this was desperation. We'd recently had a strong windstorm, was the goose separated from its flock by the wind, did it tire and fall behind? I watched as two wedges flew over but these were not the ones, I so wanted them to be. I lost sight of the goose for a bit, hoping that it had found what it was seeking. Then turned the corner and there it was, in the middle of our pond, resting from its flight but not quiet. It maintained its position in the middle of the pond turning 360 degrees over and over. Calling over and over to the four directions, the sound echoing from the neighboring houses, but no answering call.
I am content in my solitude, happy for the peace I find in my own company, but this goose brought me to tears, how alone, how needful, how desolate.

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Trip to the Store that Starts with a Letter Near the End of the Alphabet

I needed some basics, toilet paper, dog food, toothpaste, vitamins; some non-basics, watercolor paper, cheap paints, glue. So you know where I went, had to go, where else is there any more in this town? Downtown is now banks, restaurants and antique stores. Gone are the hardware stores, the pharmacies, the grocery stores, the dime store that held out until just a couple of years ago is gone too. So I am forced to the one place that replaced them. Entering the door, walking just past the entrance, I was immediately immersed in the over-lit tackiness, the roaming shoppers with looks of despair and poverty. Forced to consider only the slim choices available there, noticing that the prices seemed to be much higher than they should be for simple things like silverware trays- I use them for organizing things, gosh they used to be a dollar, now they are $7? Toilet paper was higher even than in the monopoly grocery store here in town, and on through the isles, more depressed looking people, more non-choices that dictate what we buy. This store used to have a great and varied vitamin department, been gone for a few years replaced by just one or two brands. I try to be a thinking consumer, one who considers the cost to the environment, health and the welfare of the United States in general and I found myself going up and down the isles almost in a state of shock at the lack of quality, the lack of US produced products, the lack of healthy choices available in every department. I got all excited when I spotted a bag of frozen wild caught salmon until I turned the bag around and found it was a product of China, I'm not eating fish from a country who pollutes with abandon. Where are the Alaskan salmon? So what I found was isles of food loaded with sugar and trans-fats; clothes all made elsewhere- obviously the cheapest made possible; products full of petro-chemicals and fragrances, toxic to humans and the environment. But where else could I go without driving to a distant city? We are forced now to consume what is bad, what is cheaply made; forced to forget the days of choice and quality; forced to submit to ugly and unhealthy. Is it a straight line from the store to the doctor's office? Is this what is going on? Pay for your crappy food, consume it for years leading to health problems that were avoidable all along. Is it some kind of panacea for the new population of slaves, letting us think we have freedom, freedom to shop, to spend our hard earned money? I have to find an alternative, but where? We have no independently owned grocery stores any more, no independently owned pharmacy, no locally owned clothing stores, what choices are left?

Friday, January 30, 2009

After a Unanimous Republican House Vote Against the Stimulus Package

Words that come to mind to describe republicans
-hateful
-greedy
-cowards
-sleazy
-paranoid
-uncaring
-insatiable
-stingy
-mindless
-xenophobic
-vicious
-corrupt
-liars
-backwards
-deceitful
-doom bringers
-spiteful
-isolated
-arrogant
-misogynists
-mob mentality
They really sound almost un-American wouldn't you say?

Plants are our Friends, Doctors may Not Be


OK, I'm not talking about poison ivy, hemlock a la Socrates, and the other nasty-to-humans ones. But you see, if you have some knowledge, you aren't going to go out and consume or even touch the ones you know will harm you. I'm talking about things like forests to calm the mind, pomegranates and olive leaf to cure what ails you, garlic and onions for incredible taste and health, you know what I mean. Good stuff, humans evolved on a planet covered in plants and you bet they figured out pretty early on which ones were beneficial and which ones to avoid. Now, to my great amusement, there are "new" scientific discoveries almost every day about the health benefits of plants. New? I don't think so, science is so darned silly, and this is coming from a science major. Maybe it is the techno-science-greed morph of science that I find so annoying. Which brings us right to doctors. Modern medicine is so barbaric, so in its infancy. What choices do we have when we consult with a doctor? Chop you up or poison you. Really, when you get right down to the basics, it's surgery or medicine. And even some doctors will admit that all medicine is poison. Yes, I do know that many medicines were originally plant derived but molecules have been isolated and synthesized, vastly increasing potency, allowing for patents and resulting greed. Isolating single compounds may in fact decrease the effectiveness of the plant as a whole. Do you know of any medicines that have zero side effects? Do you know of anyone on this entire planet who has a medicine deficiency? I think not. And yes, that is a strange bark-heart, I found it while hiking in the woods, guess that plant wanted to be my friend.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Post Little Tree

Ah..... it finally feels like the dark cloud cast by our supreme bully and his cohorts has dissolved. The lunatic gang who hijacked our planet have slunk off into dark corners, dreaming up new nightmares for us. Can we keep them confined to their dark corners? I surely hope so.
Can the collective US mentality make a leap into the 21st century, toward a more peaceful, healthy and community minded future? I feel it shifting in a positive direction. Someone finally let go of the pendulum so it can swing back towards sane.